Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Successful people...are successful


Successful people. You know them. They are those adults who have somehow miraculously developed into just that.

They can do things such as take care of themselves and get along with others. They also have their own special set of social interactions that display these traits to the world. Like a peacock sporting it’s ability to throw a mean dinner party or its always cheery outlook on life, instead of colorful tail feathers.

They're easy to spot. Their hair is effortlessly lustrous, they COOK FOR OTHER PEOPLE – I have put in capitals all of the most unbelievable things that I’m listing – they keep immaculate places to live and manage to not only acquire objects they need to fill that space but have matching, well-designed d├ęcor that they make themselves with their very own two hands, extreme blessings and mud.

They say things like, “This lobster bisque with chili hollandaise sauce and ginger mango snaps that I have BROUGHT FOR LUNCH was a breeze to make. Allow me to repeat the entire recipe to you right now that I assume you will remember it in your mind, seeing as you don’t have a pen and obviously have the cooking abilities of a five star chef that are required to make it!” and “Yoga has changed my life. I know everyone says that, but it really has!”

They love excursions and take day trips. They RUN IN THE MORNING BEFORE WORK. They “push back” on things that don’t go their way at that work. They leave uplifting away messages on their AIM that really make you think. I could go on, but the point is that I am not one of these people.

I watch them on a daily basis, trying to harness their power.

But the fact is that it doesn’t matter how many intermittent yoga classes I take, I still can’t touch my toes. And even though I cooked pasta with sauce that one time (I even HEATED THE SAUCE) I was left feeling bitter that I had to MAKE IT in the first place.

In this blog, I will record my attempts at infiltrating their world — from the mildly successful to the incredibly miserable failures, both past and present.

As I do, I’m sure some of you successful people will want to chime in. Feel free to, even if it is from your iPhone while “GRABBING EVENING DRINKS WITH CO-WORKERS.” Ugh.

2 comments:

  1. You know you're doing great if you have "sparkles" in your life! (if that's what you're into...). My hair is not lustrous. It's a mess, but I think it looks better that way, otherwise maybe it'd be lustrous, and I'd be successful.

    Teach me to accept my fate?

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  2. You wouldn't want that. Life wouldn't be half as fun. Plus, you'd waste way too much time staring at how shiny it would be, like a cat.

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